What I am learning at B-school

I thought many times of writing the conventional "How I got here" post that could go on about facts about how and why landed up at this prestigious b-school, I gave- up writing it because I find giving staid facts to strangers too boring. I almost came one step closer to putting it down after I finished reading Peter Robinson's "Snapshots from Hell" (and clearly not because its title resonated with my life here). It was because he very aptly describes the charms and travails of the young men and women spoiled with choices ahead: MBA students. The book also describes the issues faced by "poets". I came in this place as quite a half-poet: with management grounding, some one ho has been through the corporate rigmarole and as someone who always believes that there are more real problems to solve than those involving calculus. 

I am a half baked MBA student at this precise moment, but I realise that I am quite in the centerpiece of the usual problem. The problem I have always faced is of abundance and that can be quite a dilemma. I am nevertheless grateful to God for giving me such dilemmas, because I honestly wouldn't like to be in a situation where there is scarcity of choices. Anyhow, learnings have been a plenty. Let me try.........

To say, I entered B-school in quite unfavorable "external environment". The worldwide recession was at its worst in 2009. I cancelled my thought of pursuing international masters dream as India was where the action is atleast for the next decade. I didn't want a "credit squeezed -immigrant" life abroad. It wasn't the best of years to gain corporate exposure in India  too.. work shrinked all around (but I felt overburdened by my own ambitions) and chaos gripped all growing organisations. It was really chaotic as India Inc. bore the uncertainty of the recession hype. It could sense just hype and paranoia. I like my peers here came here to shield the paranoia, to turn into something multiplicatively productive at the end of these 2 years. I came here to be my own woman. 

So this happened. B-school. I found a new family, a new 'home'. Somethings I never imagined would turned up, emerged. Somethings died down. I was looking to restart my life and I can say now that I did the best I could to rise from the embers. Here I met very bright people, extremely competitive, hardworking, emotional people..........stars in their eyes, spring in their step, unimaginable talent......I made great and good friends... all with their set of backgrounds, ideas and culture. I have not been able to appreciate all of them, but I have grown more aware about my own identity, about how I am perceived and what parts of myself  I'd like to polish in midst of this milieu. [A small example: After years of explaining that I am not a Punjabi ( I realised that this side of my personal identity really is weak, I'd rather be called a Delhiite rather than a Punjabi but a thrid person may differ in his views!), I have accepted my true roots and learnt to embrace the positive stereotypes that come along with it. ]

I have become a bit proud after being here for more than a year. Upper class Hindu, DU educated, metro sensibilities at play?? How divisive, you'd say! In marketing lingo, they'd call it 'profiling'!

Any how, back to the point about regaining pride. I was used to reporting to one or two bosses, now I had to work in tandem with many experts (self-professed and real) and peers. I had to acknowledge that sometimes I have to accept team outcomes that are below my personal capacities, because not all teams are equally efficient and I am not the only one in the team. It is just a matter of the team's unique capacities not just individuals. I pride myself that I can give my best in any team circumstance.  

At the same time in many ways, I have humbled down, I have become more self-critical...I can watch myself from a distance, in my head. I have sharpened my instincts, about people, places and decision- making.

I have come to know that I am an independent woman but sometimes I need my set of people. They respect me for who I am and cannot bear my sadness. I learnt how important a family nest is.  I know now how fickle relations can be and I know that may relations follow in between this wide spectrum and that's ok. I am reinforcing these learnings. 

I learnt you cannot lead life too seriously. It is meant to crumble and won't it be nice if you can't just smile at the end of it all. 

I learnt that it's not always about me. I learnt each day that even in a competitive environment there are many kind acts that just compel me to shout "HUMANITY!" 

I learnt that studying in an Indian B-school, you can never lose sight of immediate realities of life and be a really pragmaic person and manager. Too hard headed maybe, but worth it in a turbulent time.

I am learning some day you are at a feast and some days, you have to be the feast.

I learnt that learning and unlearning are essential and that I'd always stay a big fan of both of these phenomena.